WLP248 Emotional Intelligence in Remote Teams
Today’s episode brings you a 3-way conversation, recorded from Pilar’s Spanish quarantine cupboard again, exploring the fascinating topic of emotional intelligence and how this relates to remote teams.
To discuss this she is joined by remote advocate/educator and regular friend of the show Rowena Hennigan, and her associate Sandra Thompson, who is a Customer Experience educator and consultant and the 1st Goleman Emotional Intelligence Coach in the UK.
ROWENA HENNIGAN
Rowena is presently in her summer coworking space in Tarragona, and Sandra is on the outskirts of London - both of them move around regularly for work and life, and are collaborating remotely on a new project all about emotional intelligence - even though they are yet to meet physically so far.
That’s mainly because this collaboration started during the early part of the lockdown this year, when Sandra was actively seeking collaborators, and Rowena was revisiting the emotional connections relating to distant working, particularly when this is mandated by circumstances, So the two of them started exploring the parallels in their academic thinking around this subject as it continued to grow in global importance, and decided to create new content together to help others.
7.30 Emotional intelligence defined
SANDRA THOMPSON
EI was defined in the 90s by Daniel Goleman, who first described the ability to understand and manage your own emotions, as well as understanding those of others to build great relationships and contentment. Goleman’s work coincided with early academic investigations into teams and how they function, and in the leadership space is closely related to empathy, as well as personal vulnerability and authenticity.
Developing EI is a continuous journey, because the multilayer complexity of emotions never ends, and there is always more to know. Emotional intelligence is a skill anyone can develop and improve, creating a lifetime pathway for growth.
The lockdown and forced home-working period induced more self-awareness for some, and facilitated some good team interactions and conversations - perhaps triggered by the video-call glimpsed reveals of personal homes and lives, creating new openness and a way to talk about things that have never been brought to the office. This practice can strengthen us as teams for the long term, including if/when we go back to more traditional ways of working, or return to work after a long period of furlough.
People who feel that their managers are doing their best to empathise with them are well positioned to move on together, and cope with future change and challenges. But not every manager, every team, know how to have conversations about emotions in a safe way, particularly as a group rather than one to one - hence the training materials created by Rowena and Sandra, to help facilitate these conversations.
18.24 Highly emotional intelligent teams
Sandra reflected that the best team she’d worked with in the past not only included people she would always describe as friends, they were intuitive about each other’s emotions - able to bring out the best in one another, and provide authentic feedback at the right moment. Providing feedback is always a sensitive matter, and depends so much on the existing relationship foundation, as well as shared understanding that the message intended is not always the one which is received - so that assumption must be clarified and checked.
This is visible in some of the documented processes of successful remote-first organisations, where the transparency and accountability, as well as exactly how to communicate, is manifest and enshrined in protocol. No one is left wondering what they would do in any given set of circumstances, because it’s practiced and agreed upon when emotions are not running high, and always positive intent is the default assumption.
Similarly in their partnership, Rowena and Sandra are continually learning from each other - each deepening their own practice, enhancing their communication, and exploring and engaging with each others’ expectations (for example: response time, in an asynchronous conversation, as well as the choice to respond rather than react).
Pilar recommended a book “The Science of Storytelling”, to help understand how we communicate our emotions in teams, and Sandra suggested “How Emotions are Made”.
40.10 Developing Team EI
People don’t mind talking about emotions, but can often find it difficult to start - so triggers like emojis can help (Pilar really wants audio ones though!)
Everyone wants to achieve ‘a great culture’ in their remote organisations, but it’s really about a series of elements and practices, and as with everything in remote this requires intentionality and conscious adoption. Becoming an emotionally intelligent team is a degree more abstract than concepts such as psychological safety, which might be easier to engage with than the 12 competencies of EI Sandra talks to teams about.
Emotions are not always negative, and we need to help people find a congruent way to express their true selves at work - and understanding that ‘getting emotional’ doesn't have to mean being upset. Interestingly the young people that Rowena works with at the university, might have an advantage here over those with greater ‘maturity’ gained in corporate life.
Sandra and Rowena would love to hear from anyone curious about emotional intelligence in remote teams, and their joint work is available at Rise in Emotional Intelligence (and also on LinkedIn).
We hope you enjoyed this brief exploration of a complex and involved issue, and encourage you to dig deeper with the help of Rowena and Sandra’s excellent materials.
And don’t forget to check out all the different ways that Virtual Not Distant can help you, with every aspect of remote team leadership and practice, including our forthcoming ‘Podcasting for Connection’ service - which can help you strengthen relationships and the way you share and communicate within your remote teams.
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