WLP233 Helping Ourselves to Overcome Disconnection in Our Remote Team
In the 6th episode of this special “Connection and Disconnection in Remote Teams” series in association with ShieldGEO, we explore what we can all do individually to strengthen feelings of connection with our remote colleagues. After looking at the manager’s role previously, we need to remember we can all do our part, to support our own well-being and that of our teammates.
Our series host Bree Caggiati and guests new and old explore this topic and its implications.
Self-reflection is an important factor in addressing feelings of isolation and disconnection, and going back to the office is not ‘the cure’.
As Laurel Farrer reminds us, remote work is not the problem, if there is a problem. Being alone just highlights and exposes what’s already going on for us. You might need to sit with the discomfort for a while, address the issues you are now unable to distract yourself from, to bring about long term change.
Coping mechanisms are normal and fine of course, but we can unpick them a bit Marcus Wermuth finds his engineering background helps with being analytical about his own issues, and asking ‘why’ a lot to debug his emotions. And Richard MacKinnon believes we can all learn to be more self-aware, recognising our own needs and preferences. He guides his coaching clients to reflect on what’s working, and what might be missing, to make things better in their lives and routines.
Each of us will find our own unique answers, to questions like, ‘What makes me feel connected?’, because we all have different needs for social interaction, and these needs evolve and change over time. Richard recommends capturing your feelings in a journal so you can reflect on your unique route through it all, whether you choose to share it with your manager, or purely your future-self.
Asia Hundley from ShieldGEO realised she needed more interaction with other humans, and found signing up for an exercise class helped, and later finding a co-working space to work from (which was more comfortable than her overheated home office too). This helped her build structure and routine into her workday, as well as social contact.
But your contact needn’t be face to face, and Richard finds regular contact with someone in a similar role online helpful too, a ‘virtual coffee’ that is not about the work. Laurel encourages us to experiment, see what works for us, and mix things up a bit - being proactive about switching things that aren’t working for something new, which might be fun even if it’s not a long-term solution.
When work gets busy, overload can lead to disconnection from our lives and relationships. Lack of boundaries can be a continual problem for remote workers, and creating rituals to start and then to close out the day is helpful. Richard recommends positive human connection through little local interactions - saying hi to someone in the street or coffee-shop, or even Slack group, can lift the mood.
Dr Julianne Hold-Lunstad reminds us that cheering up other people often does more for our mood and well-being than receiving support ourselves:
Helping others is one of the best ways to help ourselves.
And Teresa Douglas found it was worthwhile to practice making those connections, if they don’t come naturally. Going first, saying hello, following up and making contact… She has taught herself to do this regularly, and seen the benefits. Richard suggests that relationships are like houseplants, which require a bit of attention on a regular basis, so that they will enhance our environments at all times. Getting to know people we work with by exchanging some personal information can help. After all, he reminds us, what’s the worst that can happen, if you ask someone a question? Taking action breaks the thinking cycle, that we can all get caught up in.
If you need professional help to break the cycle then go and get it. Marcus is passionate about destigmatising his therapeutic journey through his blog, and reminds us that you can’t label emotional issues as work or non-work issues specifically - it’s all about solving problems and learning more about ourselves. Teresa has found the energy needed to maintain relationships isn’t always there to draw upon, and all you can do is be kind to yourself and permit withdrawal, something we all might need to do from time to time. Staring at the wall might feel unproductive, but could also be just what you need to do in the moment.
Above all, what you need will be individual and unique, both to you and perhaps to that particular day or mood. Tuning in to your needs and how you feel, will help you to help yourself, manage feelings of connection and disconnection in your remote work.
How do you help yourself, when you feel loneliness or isolation threatening? We’d love to hear about what you have found works, as a short-term tactic or long-term practice and habit.
Please contact us, or you can tweet Virtual Not Distant, or Pilar and Maya directly, with any of your thoughts and ideas.
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